


The Distance Between Us

by len1985



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-19 22:43:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9463682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/len1985/pseuds/len1985
Summary: What I think happens after that tilting at windmills conversation...





	1. Chapter 1

"Give her back to me!" Serena shouts at Bernie, as she wrenches Elinor's patient file from the blonde's hands.

"This isn't going to help, Serena. It won't bring her back, no matter how many people you think you find in there to blame." Bernie reaches out to rest a hand on the brunette's shoulder.

"Please just don't." Serena snaps, making Bernie flinch and pull her hand away. "I need you to move out." Serena sits back down at her desk and carries on reading.

"What?" Bernie staggers as though she's been hit. "Serena, I don't want you to be on your own right now."

"I have Jason." Serena retorts.

"Who is only just himself recovering from the accident." Bernie tries to reason. "I won't let you do this, you are not shutting everyone out. Morven was in tears, whatever you said to her just now. I can't say that this will all be ok, I know that isn't true but this is not the answer. You're hurting, so everyone else has to as well. This isn't you Serena, it's spiteful and it's mean." Bernie slams the door on her way out.

Serena knows that Bernie's right but she doesn't go after her. She just keeps on reading.

When she gets home, Bernie is gone. She's done what was asked of her, as she always did.

"Auntie Serena, does Bernie not want to stay with us anymore?" Jason enquires, holding the note Bernie left him and looking hurt and confused.

"It's not that, Jason. I asked her to give us some space." Serena caresses his cheek and kisses his hair.

"We don't need space, Auntie Serena. You need Bernie. You love her. Is this because I caused Elinor's accident, is Bernie cross with me?" Jason looked scared.

"You didn't cause any of this and Bernie loves you very much. She saved your life, didn't she?" Serena starts to see that she's done the wrong thing. Now it was too late. "Why don't we order in something nice for dinner, would you like that?" She tries to smile at her nephew but her heart just wants Bernie.

"If you want Bernie to come back, I'm sure she will if you ask her." Jason looks hopeful.

Serena shakes her head and goes to get the food menus from the kitchen. "Why don't you pick what you'd like, Jason and I'll order it when I come back downstairs?" Serena heads to her bedroom.

She goes through all the wardrobes and drawers and the cabinet in the ensuite to see all of Bernie's things are gone. Then she notices a piece of paper lying on the pillow on her side of the bed. It's a note from Bernie.

"Serena,

I did what you asked and moved back to my flat. I want you to know that I didn't want to leave you, but I hope that the time apart brings you whatever it is you're looking for. I'm always here if you need anything. Same goes for Jason. Take care of yourself.

All my love,

Bernie xx"

Serena's tears start to smudge Bernie's words and she buries her head in Bernie's pillow, that still smells of the blonde, and sobs uncontrollably.

For the next two weeks Serena's pride stops her from asking Bernie to come home and Bernie barely speaks to the brunette for fear of dropping to her knees and begging to be with her again.

They are both filling in paperwork in their office when there is a knock at the door. "Come in." They say together.

A tall brunette that Serena doesn't recognise enters, eyes fixed on Bernie.

"Alex? What on Earth are you doing here?" Bernie stands to greet her ex-lover with a surprised smile and a handshake.

Alex tugs on the outstretched hand and pulls Bernie in for an awkward hug. "They want you back, Bern. The Army. Sent me with the papers." Alex hands the stunned blonde a letter.

"I don't understand. I was medically discharged." Bernie opens the letter and can't believe what she reads. "This says I leave in 10 days." Bernie searches Alex's face dumbfounded. "For a 2 year tour." Bernie sits back down, as her legs turn to jelly. "Do I have to accept?"

"No, it's not official orders because of the discharge but why would you turn it down?" It's Alex's turn to look shocked. "You're divorced now, Cameron's moved to London and Charlotte still doesn't speak to you. There's nothing for you here." Alex argues.

"You seem awfully well informed on my private life, Captain." Bernie bristles and stands back up to leave. "I'll think about it. When do you need a decision?" Bernie regards Alex.

"Day after tomorrow. If you accept this, they'll reinstate you. 10 more years, Bern." Alex grabs her by the upper arms holding her in place.

Serena gasps at the thought of losing Bernie for 10 years...

"Can't you talk some sense into her, Dr...?" Alex tries to get Serena to talk Bernie round.

"Ms Campbell. Serena." Serena shakes her hand. "I'm afraid this is none of my business." She heads out to the ward, leaving Bernie and Alex to it.

Bernie follows her with her eyes and Alex sees the look on the blonde's face.

"You and Serena are..." Alex gestures between the two, there was something going on.

"Not exactly. Not anymore." Bernie looks crestfallen. She starts to leave and Alex calls after her.

"This is where I'm staying and here's my number." She thrusts the details into Bernie's hand, in earshot of the entire ward, including Serena. "It would be nice to catch up, either way." She kisses Bernie's cheek and walks away.

"Here, Serena. Isn't that -" Fletch starts to ask.

"Alex Dawson." Serena interjects.

"Isn't she -" He tries again.

"Bernie's ex." Serena cuts him off again.

Serena watches Bernie screw up the paper Alex had given her and throw it in the bin. She hurries away to answer the red phone. Duty calls.

Bernie is in theatre for most of the afternoon and only comes out just as Serena is getting ready to go home. The letter from the Army has sat taunting her on Bernie's desk all afternoon. "How did it go in theatre?" Serena offers a small smile when Bernie slumps into her chair.

"Fine. We saved him. Eventually." Bernie smiles back. She fiddles with the envelope in front of her.

"Do you think you'll go?" Serena asks, indicating the letter.

"I'm not sure I'd want to be away that long. Although, Alex was right I suppose. There's not much here for me now." Bernie looks sad and tired.

"Jason would miss you. I would miss you." Serena has tears in her eyes when she looks up at the blonde.

Bernie rushes over and pulls her into her arms. "Hey, Serena don't cry. I'm here. I'm right here." She holds the brunette as tightly as she can and soothes her through the tears.

"I don't want you to go." Serena soaks Bernie's scrubs as she sobs. "I know I have no right to ask you to stay but..." She reaches round to the nape of Bernie's neck and moves to kiss her. Serena's tears soak Bernie's face but she doesn't even notice because they are kissing. They haven't kissed like this in quite some time and the feeling is incredible. Until Bernie snaps to her senses.

"Oh God, Serena. Forgive me. I didn't mean to... I'm supposed to be giving you space, not throwing myself at you in our office. I should go. I'll see you tomorrow." Bernie rushes out to change and go home.

"Bernie, wait..." Serena calls her back but Bernie doesn't hear her as she practically runs to the locker room.


	2. Chapter 2

Serena sits anxiously in her car outside Bernie's flat. She knows the blonde is home because her car is parked in its usual spot and she can see the lights on. Her knuckles turn white from her tight, nervous grip on the steering wheel and she can feel her whole body start to tremble. "Pull yourself together, Campbell. You can do this, you'll lose her otherwise." Serena nods her head resignedly and takes a few deep breaths to steady herself. Now or never.

Bernie is sure she picked the wrong month to give up smoking as she sits fidgeting on her sofa. Her foot taps agitatedly on the floor as her knee bounces up and down, trying to muster the courage to pick up her phone. She wants to call Serena. Should she apologise? Should she say that she regrets the kiss? No, that would be a lie. Should she ask Serena to come over? Should she go over there? She wants to see her. Her hands tug endlessly through her untamed hair as she wonders what the hell to do. She didn't want to go back to the Army, to Alex. She was fairly sure that was what the younger brunette was really asking her. She only wants Serena. She knows now, seeing Alex again, there was no comparison. She was in love with Serena. She stands frustrated from her couch, angry at herself for being such a coward. Just pick up the bloody phone and call her, damn it!

As Bernie's hand reaches for her mobile, she almost has a heart attack as it starts to ring. Looking at the caller id, it's not Serena. She doesn't recognise the number.

"Hello?" Bernie sounds unsure.

"Hey Bern, it's Alex."

Just then the doorbell goes.

"Hang on a sec, Alex. There's someone at the door." Bernie swings the door open as she continues. "Alex, how did you get this number?" The blonde looks cross and then she looks up to see Serena at her door.

"I'm in the Army, Major. We have our ways." Alex chuckles. Bernie doesn't see the funny side.

"I'm serious Alex, how the hell did you get my number?" Bernie motions for Serena to come in.

The brunette stands in Bernie's hallway nervously, as the blonde seems to be having some sort of domestic with her ex.

"I can come back some other time." Serena whispers and starts to back away feeling foolish and embarrassed.

Bernie waves her free hand, shaking her head.

"Listen, I really have to go now. Can we not do this? I'll let the senior officer know when I've made my decision. Goodnight Captain Dawson." Bernie hopes that her tone signifies that the matter is not up for discussion and she hangs up.

"Sorry about that." Bernie looks to Serena sheepishly. "Is everything ok? Is it Jason?" Bernie panics and grabs her coat from the peg, ready to spring into action.

"Jason's fine, he's staying with Alan. Relax Bernie." Serena places her hand over the blonde's to try to stop her lifting her jacket. Bernie turns towards her and their eyes lock as they both hold their breaths.

Serena breaks the spell. "She still loves you, clearly." She takes her hand away and moves back again.

Bernie's face is the picture of confusion at first but then she catches on. "Oh you mean Alex?" Serena nods. "I guess so. That's what this whole thing is about probably."

"Do you still -" Serena's heart breaks at even the thought of the question.

"No." Bernie replies emphatically. "I'm in love with someone else." She doesn't meet Serena's gaze as she wanders back over to the sofa and throws herself on to it. Bernie then lets out a pained groan as she rubs her hand over her face. "I'm in love with you." Her head drops between her knees as she laces her fingers together over the back of her skull.

Serena sits hesitantly beside her and drops a tender kiss to Bernie's nape. "Bernie?"

Bernie freezes at the touch but she doesn't respond.

"Bernie, look at me please?" Serena strokes the blonde's curls and tries to coax her to look at her.

When she finally raises her head, Serena's heart aches to see that Bernie is crying. "You should go." Bernie sniffs and rather unsophisticatedly wipes her tears on the back on her shirt sleeve.

"I'm not going anywhere." Serena caresses Bernie's face and draws her to her for a gentle kiss. As their lips almost brush she whispers into the space. "I love you too."

"What?" Bernie pulls back shocked.

"I love you." Serena holds the blonde's gaze for a moment and leans in to kiss her again. "Bernie, I'm sorry for how I've been acting."

"Serena you've just lost your daughter. It's going to take more than a few weeks to get back on an even keel." The blonde brushes the back of her hand over Serena's cheek.

"That's no excuse. You have been so amazingly supportive and I've been awful to you. I threw you out, for God's sake!" Serena felt so ashamed.

"It's ok. I understand that you need space, I overstepped." Bernie tried to comfort the brunette.

"That's just it. I don't want space. I want you." Serena grabs both of Bernie's hands in her own. When she kisses the blonde this time it is with more passion and obvious intent.

"Wait, wait Serena." Bernie pulls away as the brunette starts to unbutton her shirt. "You're vulnerable, you're grieving. We don't need to do this." Bernie stands to give the brunette some breathing space.

Serena stands to join her and slowly kisses a path over Bernie's neck. She unbuttons the rest of the blonde's shirt and leaves wet, open mouthed kisses down her torso. "Make love with me." Serena glances up to see Bernie struggle with her emotions.

"Sere -" Bernie's breath is stolen as Serena uses that fabulous mouth of hers on Bernie's breasts. Hitching up Bernie's bra, she traps her nipple between her teeth and tugs sharply.

"I need you, Bernie. I miss your touch on my body. Please touch me." Serena's hot breath against the blonde's ear makes her knees weak.

Bernie clasped the brunette's hand in her own and led her into the bedroom. "I have a better idea. Why don't you get undressed and lie down, on your front. I'll give you a lovely, relaxing massage."

Serena somewhat reluctantly complied, as Bernie slipped into her pyjamas and fetched some massage cream from the bathroom.

She moved to straddle the backs of Serena's legs and gently worked the lotion across the brunette's neck and shoulders first. She rubbed and soothed every inch of Serena's weary, tense muscles. Bernie smiles softly as she hears Serena murmur a relaxed sigh. As the blonde's wonderful hands caressed all of her tired, aching muscles into submission, Serena knew that Bernie had done the right thing. This way she could still feel the blonde touching her, but she hadn't been truly ready for what she had hastily suggested. She was still too raw and sensitive to be with Bernie in that way yet. It made her love this woman even more that she could be certain that Bernie wouldn't rush her, didn't expect it of her. She had never known anyone to care so much about her before and the thought touched her so profoundly that she couldn't hold back the tears.

"Serena? It's ok, we can stop." Bernie slides over to rest beside her and strokes her hair from her eyes.

"I love you, Bernie. You were right, I don't want to go any further tonight. Will you just hold me? Please." Serena's eyes scan the blonde's features and see nothing but love and kindness.

Bernie guides her in for a warm cuddle and kisses her hair. "You know we never have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with. I don't want you to think that I would ever rush you in that way. I love you and I'm more than happy to just cuddle, if that's what you need." Bernie pulls Serena as close to her as she can and rubs soothing circles over her hip and side, as the brunette curls into her side.

"Bernie?" Serena stifles a yawn as the blonde's touch relaxes her into sleepiness.

"Uh huh." Bernie leans away slightly so that she can see Serena's face.

"Will you come back home tomorrow?" Serena kisses her softly.

"I'd like that." Bernie smiles and brings Serena back in to rest on her chest.

Once she feels the brunette's breathing even out, she follows her to sleep.

Neither have remembered the letter resting on the bedside table and the prospect of Bernie leaving again.


	3. Chapter 3

Serena sleeps the entire night curled into Bernie, wrapped in the most incredible warmth and love she has ever known. When she wakes, however, she stretches to where the blonde's body heat should be and is met with nothing but cold sheets. She bolts upright in search of the other woman and a tiny speck of panic settles on her chest, until she hears and smells Bernie making breakfast in the kitchen. Sliding off the bed she grabs last night's shirt and buttons it around herself as she makes her way to Bernie. As she sidles up behind the taller woman, she encircles her waist and reaches up on her tiptoes to drop a kiss to the back of Bernie's neck. The goosebumps that pimple the blondes skin in response bring a smile to Serena's lips.

"Good morning, sleepy head. I thought you might like a proper cooked breakfast before you have to go home and get ready." Bernie turns and reciprocates Serena's grip on the brunette's own waist.

Serena realises suddenly that her stomach is growling at the thought. She was hungry. She hadn't eaten much of anything in weeks, she certainly never had breakfast anymore. And as Bernie serves up eggs, bacon and toast, Serena could honestly say she has never seen anything more delicious in her life. They eat in relative silence but it is not uncomfortable, as it had been over the weeks since they lost Elinor. Bernie is delighted to see the brunette eat well again.

"I meant what I said last night. I want you to come home. If you want to, that is." Serena fidgeted in her seat, hoping that Bernie could see that she really wanted this.

"Serena..." Bernie was clearing the dishes away to wash them "...are you sure that you don't need more time, more space? I want nothing more than to be with you but this is a difficult time for you. I don't want to make it worse. Perhaps we could just leave things as they are and when you are truly ready, we can talk about this again." Bernie all but throws the plates into the sink and steadies herself against the edge of the worktop.

"But last night, you said that you wanted to move back in." Serena stares incredulous at the blonde's back. Bernie doesn't need to turn around, she can feel Serena's eyes searing a hole into her skull. "Bernie, please. I can't do this on my own."

"You'll never be on your own, I'm always here. I just think it's best to allow you space to grieve." Bernie dips her head and calls on all her resolve to keep from turning and scooping Serena into her arms and never letting go. "I'm sorry."

Serena moves to wrap herself around Bernie as she slumps over the sink. Her warmth on the blonde's back is both wonderful and heart-breaking. She feels Serena pull back and spins to face her. Her jaw hits the floor as she watches Serena unbutton the shirt and let it float down on to the kitchen tiles. Taking Bernie's hand she sets it on her bare heart. Slowly she drags it down her front and placing her own hand on top, settles it over her clit and begins to move both their fingers over the area.

"Serena, no. It's too soon, this isn't what you want. You don't have to do this because you think I want to." Bernie tries to take her hand away but Serena holds firm.

"Please, Bernie. I just want to forget. Just for a little while." Tears fall silently from the brunette's eyes and she implores the blonde with the most devastated look Bernie had ever seen. Serena takes a step closer and her breath burns the blonde's skin. "Help me, please." She kisses along Bernie's jawline and forces their hands to apply more pressure against her core. A strangled moan of pleasure escapes into the room and Bernie cannot be sure who from.

Something inside Bernie gives then. Maybe it was because they hadn't made love in so long. Maybe it was because she thought Serena needed this somehow. She grabs Serena roughly by the arse with her free hand and lifts her into the bedroom, as the brunette's legs cling around her waist. Her other hand is still trapped with Serena's against her clit. She kisses her with a hunger she didn't know she possessed before throwing her onto the bed.

Bernie makes swift work of removing her own pyjamas as she watches Serena keep working on her own clit. She grips the brunette's wrist to stop her and pulls Serena's hand away before replacing it with her mouth.

This directness makes Serena's head spin as Bernie's tongue now continues what she was doing with her own hand moments ago. It is not love making, they don't kiss or touch like that would have previously. Bernie goes straight to where Serena needs her and it is hard and fast and the shock of the speed of her impending climax startles them both. "Ohhhh!" Is all Serena can manage to say as her mind blissfully clears and her legs quiver either side of Bernie's head. Not a single thought can enter her consciousness other than the force of coming so strongly and unexpectedly. The waves roll her under and she is not Serena Campbell. She has not lost her only daughter. She is nothing other than a woman having the most intense orgasm of her existence.

It takes some time for her to become her again and for everything that has happened to bleed back into her mind. She can't allow that. "More." She pants as Bernie starts to move away.

"Are you sure?" Bernie can't believe what she's just done. This wasn't right.

"Yes. Please." Serena pleads, longing for the oblivion to rob her memory one more time.

Bernie reluctantly obliges, plunging her fingers straight inside the brunette. She thrusts at an almost dizzying pace and still Serena begs for more, faster, harder.

"Yes!" Serena is stolen away again to that world where she cannot remember her grief, where nothing exists other than the tingling that spreads throughout her body. She lies spent and slick with sweat as the tears start anew.

"Oh God. Serena I'm sorry, I should never have done that. Can you ever forgive me?" Bernie grasps Serena's closest hand in both of hers, as her own tears match the brunette's. She drops tender kisses to the knuckles of Serena's hand.

"I love you so much, Bernie." Serena kisses her passionately. "I can't believe you would do that for me." Serena wipes at the blonde's tears with her thumb.

"I would do anything for you." Bernie kisses her back. "We can never do that again though. Please." Bernie beseeches.

"What? Why not? That was incredible." Serena jumps off of the bed and starts to get dressed.

"This isn't healthy, Serena. You can't bury your grief in sex, you need time to heal. Maybe you need to see someone, to talk to someone about all this." Bernie tries to reach for her but the brunette moves further away.

"You can't be serious. You, of all people, think I should talk about my feelings." Serena seethes out a harsh laugh.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bernie looks her in the eye, obviously hurt.

"The great Bernie Wolfe, master of never expressing a single emotion wants me to talk to some sort of counsellor. Don't make me laugh." Serena snarls.

"That isn't fair -" Bernie bites her lower lip to hold back the tears. She knew Serena was in agony, just lashing out and better at her than everyone else, or herself.

"Fair?! You want to talk to me about fair?! My daughter will never take another breath, never see another day on this Earth. She will never get married, never graduate from university, never have children. She will never do anything ever again!" Serena screams.

"Please, Serena. I just want to help you." Bernie can't keep from crying now.

"But you won't. I need this. I needed this from you, Bernie. You said you would do anything for me." Serena finishes getting ready and starts to leave.

"You know I would. But just please not this." Bernie crumbles as she watches Serena walk away.

Serena turns back just long enough to bite out a reply. "If you won't help me, I'm sure I can find someone who will."

The slamming of the front door shatters Bernie into countless pieces, as the weight of Serena's words tears her soul apart.


	4. Chapter 4

As soon as the door slams behind her, Serena pauses. She just stays frozen with her back to the door. How could she have said those things? Poor Bernie. Tears start to fall as she thinks of how cruel she's been.

Bernie leaps out of the bed and drags her pyjamas back on, stepping into the boots she'd thrown by the door. She'd catch up to Serena if she was quick and fix this.

Just as Serena turns back to ring the doorbell, Bernie wildly flings open the door to chase after her. They almost collide in their haste to see the other. Now face to face again, neither moves, neither speaks. Breathing harshly and hearts pounding.

"I'll do it." Bernie blurts out, whatever she has to do to keep Serena she will. "Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it."

Serena throws herself into Bernie's arms and kisses her with everything she feels for the blonde. "Come home."

Bernie nods and slowly pushes her against the wall to give her what she needs. As her hands fumble with the buttons on Serena's trousers, she plunges her fingers into the brunette's underwear and brings her leg up to leverage between Serena's as she ruts against the hand in Serena's crotch.

"Bernie, Bernie no." Serena tries to pull back but there's nowhere to go, with the wall flush behind her.

Bernie's head snaps up to look her in the eye and she stops immediately. "I'm sorry, I thought this was what you needed." Bernie's face is plastered with hurt and confusion, as she backs up towards the lounge. "God, Wolfe. Why are you such a screw-up?!"

Serena shucks her clothes as quickly as possible, while Bernie watches speechless. She slinks over to where the blonde is and encourages Bernie's vest top over her head as Bernie remains gobsmacked. Serena makes light work of Bernie's shorts as she yanks them down to the floor. And then she gets the blonde to step back out of her boots. As she stands back up she kisses the insides of both the blonde's thighs and Bernie almost drops like a stone at the sensation. Only for Serena's arm around her waist, Bernie would surely slide to the floor. The warmth and softness of Serena's lips against her skin is like a soothing balm to wounds she didn't even know had been inflicted.

Serena manoeuvres them so that Bernie's back rests against the nearest wall and she sinks to her knees, draping the blonde's legs either side of her head. Bernie slumps as she knows what Serena has in store for her, her back sliding a little further down the wall. At the first swipe of wet tongue against her, Bernie rasps out a half breath, as a blazing light steals her vision and her body spasms uncontrollably. "Serena, do that again!" Bernie arches herself towards Serena's mouth and fists the brunette's hair to hold her close against her clit. Her other hand flies to her own hair as she struggles to process what Serena is doing to her.

Serena flicks and sucks and laps at the blonde's clit, just as she was asked. Bernie writhes like a woman possessed against her tongue. They hadn't made love in so long and Bernie had been too focused on Serena to even notice that she wanted this. Their eyes never leave each other as Serena pleasures her perfectly. "Don't you dare stop, please Serena. I'm going to cum for you." Bernie whimpers as she feels her whole body being flooded with release. "Ah, shit." She cums all over Serena's face and neck, pumping herself against that fabulous tongue. She slips gently to the floor once she's done, as Serena guides her to sit.

"I want to make love with you, Bernie. Properly." Serena kisses her fervently and Bernie feels the heat in the pit of her stomach, as she tastes herself from Serena's mouth. "I do have one request though." Serena moves back to look at her.

"Anything." Bernie replies sincerely.

"Can we maybe do it in bed, my knees are too old for this?" Serena smirks and Bernie starts to giggle, as she brings Serena into her embrace. Her laughter sparks something in Serena, who also starts to laugh. Her real, delighted laugh, that Bernie hasn't heard in weeks. Bernie closes her eyes and basks in the sound. As she catches her breath again and wipes away the first happy tears she's shed in an interminable period of darkness, Serena clings to Bernie like she's afraid she has imagined her. "I'm not going to pretend that I won't hurt you again but I promise you that I don't mean it. I would never want anyone else to touch me like you do."

Bernie's heart unclenches slightly at the relief of not having to ever see Serena with someone else. "I'm sorry that I don't really know how to do this. I know I'm no good at talking about feelings but I..."

Serena silences her with a loving kiss. "I didn't mean any of that. You had promised that you have changed since you came back from Ukraine. And you have. You have been so amazing with me, with everything that's happened. I love you." She rests her forehead gently against Bernie's. "Now, please get me off this floor woman!"

They pick each other up and wrapped in the other make their way to lie on the bed. "How about we head out for lunch and I can bring my things back to the house while you grab a shower and change?" Bernie brushes her lips against Serena's cheek.

"Will you touch me?" Serena gazes shyly at the blonde before she takes her hand and places it over one of her breasts.

Mindlessly, Bernie strokes her thumb over the brunette's nipple. Serena gasps at the contact and the nipple starts to go hard. "Bernie." The word hisses from her lips as she feels her body respond to something other than grief for the first time in an endless cycle of loss.

Bernie tickles her hand up from the brunette's chest to the side of her jaw and pulls her in for a gentle kiss. Her fingers tease at Serena's neck as she deepens their meeting of mouths. Bernie takes her time, they have nowhere pressing to be and she has missed the feeling of Serena beneath her fingertips, her mouth. There is no patch of Serena's skin left unattended, as Bernie relishes being able to touch her again. Feeling their bodies mesh together and slide over one another is heavenly, Bernie had forgotten how incredible it could be. Before they know it their hips are rolling in time, as they slowly gyrate and undulate, clits rubbing as a steady, strong and intense orgasm builds within them both.

"I've missed you." Serena throws her head back as she speeds up to the pace she needs for release.

Bernie watches as a single bead of sweat makes its way down the brunette's neck and travels into the space between her breasts. She leans in and swipes it away with her tongue, the salty wetness coating her mouth as she matches Serena's movements and her own climax beckons. "I love you, Serena!" Bernie loses all control as she breathes in her lover. She bucks inelegantly against Serena as she pushes through her orgasm.

"Oh Bernie, I'm so close. Fuck, don't stop!" Serena isn't long in joining her as her orgasm hits and she thrusts into Bernie's groin to finish herself off. This is the most spectacular climax she has ever known and her heart is fit to burst for the woman doing this to her body.

As they cling to one another and come back to the room after the last of their release has jolted through them, they kiss and stroke at their leisure. Lips brushing over sticky, sweaty skin and hair, they whisper words of adoration into glowing bodies.

Throwing themselves back on to the sheets, they just lie trying to get their breaths back.

Serena feels Bernie's heart pounding against her face as she nestles into her. "I am so in love with you. That was the most wonderful thing I have ever known."

Bernie kisses the brunette's hair and traces unknown shapes across Serena's back as she holds her so close it's hard to know which limbs are her own. "I've missed you too. That was amazing. I love you so so much, Serena."

Serena notices the Army letter then on Bernie's nightstand. "Have you told Alex that you aren't going?" She gestures towards the document.

"Not yet. She wants to meet for a drink later. I don't really want to. I think she's going to ask for another go, with us." Bernie looks uncomfortable with the thread of this conversation.

"Is that what you want?" Serena tries to look nonplussed.

"You know it isn't." Bernie kisses Serena deeply. "Please tell me you know that."

"It's just that she's younger and she has no baggage. It would be easier for you. You wouldn't be tied to me." Serena tries to convince her heart of what she's saying.

"No. Stop this." Bernie kisses her again. "I am where I want to be. With who I want to be with. I'm not interested in Alex or anyone else." She moves to straddle the brunette and kisses a trail down her body. "I love you."

Serena almost cries with relief at the blonde's words. "Bernie, I love you too." The blonde offers a wide smile and drops a final kiss to Serena's heart. As she feels it beat against her lips, she knows that this woman is the most precious thing in her world. The one she has always been waiting for but not totally convinced would arrive. Bernie's warm tears drip on to Serena's chest as the blonde becomes overwhelmed by everything she feels for the angel underneath her and the injustice of what has happened to the best person she has ever known. "What is it, Bernie? What's wrong, my love?"

"If only it were that simple to heal your heart, my darling. I would do anything for you to not have to go through this." Bernie means every word.

Serena feels her own eyes sting with tears as she draws Bernie to her. They hold each other as the tears flow freely, and words of solace are hushed into the room as they cling to the love they share.


End file.
